Ok. I confess…
I took a little detour this week. Instead of reading The Moon and His Tides, I got totally distracted by a colorful and quick read by Kristen Painter called The Vampire’s Mail Order Bride. I’m sorry, but the cover was bright pink and had vampires. How could I resist? 😂

Overall rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Spicy Level: 🌶️ (just a little heat)

So, the title kind of gives away the whole plot: it’s about a vampire (Hugh Ellington) and his unexpected mail order human bride (Delaney James).
Spoiler alert — we find out pretty early that Hugh definitely did not sign up for a mail order bride, and Delaney? She wasn’t exactly supposed to show up either. Cue the comedy, hijinks, and a random mafia hit subplot.

The Vampire’s Mail Order Bride was a super quick read, light on the spice and light on the drama, but packed with humor, an adorably spoiled (and slightly overweight) Maine Coon cat, and one hilariously sassy manservant. Honestly, it was the perfect palate cleanser after all the intense mafia romance I’ve been binging lately.

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What I Loved

Stanhill the manservant, aka the Rook, was absolutely perfect. He always brought logic and laughs to the party. Total scene-stealer.

Both main characters were refreshingly rational. Hugh had a little ex drama and some commitment phobia, but for the most part, he acted like a grown-up. (As he should. I mean, the guy is over 300 years old.) If someone who lived through the plague, the Great Depression, and the Industrial Revolution acted like a manchild, I would have DNF’d immediately.

Delaney was super chill, open, and pretty relatable. Considering she was on the run and just casually strolled into a town full of supernaturals, she handled it all like a champ. 

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What I Wanted More Of

Heat! They kissed a couple of times on page, and we know things went further, but I like my vampire romances to be melt-the-page steamy. This one was more like a single birthday candle cute, but not nearly enough heat for me.

Relationship development — The romance was sweet, but I wish it had taken a little longer than a week for them to fall in love. It felt a little rushed. Then again, it’s a fantasy romance set in a town full of supernatural beings, so… logic? LOL.

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Overall, it was a fun, fast, and fluffy read with a pink cover and a bite of humor. 

Sound off below and share your favorite sweet reads!
I’m always looking for cute and cozy recs between the blood, drama, and smooching.

With love, screams, and everything in between,
— Makeouts & Murder 💋🩸